Another Chance At Forever
by shammyb1
Summary: Bella is a vampire and world renowned doctor currently working at the Forks Hospital.  Edward left 12 years ago and has been out of her life since.  What happens when some of the Cullen's show up at the ball the hospital is hosting for Bella's birthday?
1. Chapter 1

Putting the finishing touches on my hair I knew I looked good. My dress was beautiful, clinging to my body until just above the knee and then gracing the floor. My hair was done up in an up do, with strands straying near the front to frame my face. I felt a surge of much needed confidence wearing this dress, knowing I was going alone to the ball for my supposed 30th birthday ball at the hospital. I had been working at the Forks Hospital since I was 26. After _he _had left, I had thrown myself into my studies. Graduating top of my class and valedictorian from Forks High School, I was accepted into University of Washington. While I was there I studied to become a doctor, finishing each step along the way with great appreciation from my teachers at my work. I was now known worldwide for my expertise, and kindness. Even though he had hurt me, I had to thank Edward. I wouldn't be a doctor if it hadn't been for his leaving. I still loved _him_ though, even though he didn't love me. I couldn't move on even if tried, my heart belonged to him. It had been 12 years since he had walked away from me and the pain was still there. I had always known I wasn't good enough for him to love me, but that didn't stop me from giving my heart completely to him. I was willing to give myself to him in every way he wanted. Because of my love for him, I wasn't as careful and ended up getting pregnant. I remembered the day I was going to tell him, he hadn't stayed with me the night before so he knew nothing of my morning sickness.

-Flashback-

I had been waiting until after school to tell him, dreading the moment and also rejoicing over the thought of having Edward's child. He was quiet on the way home, making me believe he knew of it already. I told him I needed to talk to him when we got to my house, and surprisingly he agreed saying he had something of his own to say. Once home though he took me into the woods and…and told me he didn't love me. That he was leaving and that I would never see him again. That was the moment he broke my heart. It had shattered, falling onto the floor of the forest and blowing off with the wind, never to be completely whole again. He took off, running deeper in the woods, I ran after him trying to stop him, but him being a vampire, he was gone with the breeze. I stumbled through the woods for hours, screaming his name, begging for him to come back to me, all to no avail. I tripped on a log and fell to the ground, simply curling into a ball, crying softly. Eventually I lost consciousness, and woke to the feeling of strong, unfamiliar arms around me, carrying me. I couldn't have cared less where he took me; my life held no meaning anymore. Then I heard yelling in the distance, the voice was familiar, Charlie's, my father. I soon felt myself being transferred to his arms. He took me up to my room and laid me on my bed. There was someone else in my room, a doctor, quickly checking me over before leaving me in the peace of my room to cry myself to sleep. The next day my morning sickness was horrible. Charlie found me on the floor of the bathroom. He helped me clean up, and I knew I had to tell him. He wasn't as angry as I thought he would be, telling me we would get through it together. He had heard by then that the Cullen's were gone, and knew I was depressed over it. They were my family, even Rosalie. I threw myself into my studies, distracting myself from the pain, but had break downs daily. Charlie cared for me, Renee came flew up from Florida to help him. For once we were together as a family, but not for joyful reasons. Unsuccessfully they tried to get me to go to a therapist, to get some help. I refused and continued my routine, until one day I felt a little nudge from my stomach. My baby. Edward's baby. It was alive, it wasn't a dream. I had a piece of Edward inside me, something that deserved a good life. That day I decided I would fight, so fight I did. I continued to excel in my studies, taking up the guitar and piano also. I graduated top of my class at Forks High and continued to receive the same grades at college. By then I was 8 months pregnant and ready for my baby to be born, but a vampire came to see me that changed my life. Victoria. She came one night and laughed when I told her Edward had left. I was scared. I didn't want her to hurt me. What if it hurt my baby, Reneseme? Noticing my protective hand over my middle, she used her nails to dig the baby out of my stomach, killing my sweet Renesme before she had a chance to breath. Hearing my screams Charlie and Renee came to my room, Victoria changed us all that night, getting her revenge for killing James. A mate for a mate she said. I changed faster than them, and saw my beautiful baby on the ground, lifeless. I simply stood there and wallowed in my sorrow, giving no notice to the burning in my throat. Renee came around before Charlie and I soon realized what we were. It was hard to explain, especially since it included Edward, but managed. I told Charlie the same thing. We all became vegetarians, not wanting to kill what we were only days ago. We buried Reneseme in the backyard. The most painful thing I had ever done. She deserved a full service, not just her mother and grandparents burying her quietly.

-End of Flashback-

I heard a knock on the front door, my limo was here. Checking the mirror one last time to make sure my hair, makeup, and dress were in place, I answered the door with a fake smile. The man driving me, was stunned, hmm I thought, I guess I look okay. His mouth hung open for a fraction of a second before he recovered himself and led me to the limo.

The lights were bright and the people, everywhere when the door opened for me to walk down the red carpet to the ball. I was shocked, who were all these people? They were all smiling and yelling happy birthday to me. I walked gracefully down the carpet and saw my two best friends Angela and Stephanie waiting there to greet me.

"Bella! Happy Birthday!" giggled Stephanie, Angela jabbing her elbow in the blonde vampire to stop her from getting attention from people. Steph was the outgoing one of our threesome friendship. Always throwing around little jokes that were little pieces of a puzzle that screamed "I'M A VAMPIRE!" No one noticed though. Stephanie knew how I felt about this party; technically I wasn't getting older so I saw no reason to celebrate a lie. Stephanie was a vampire; I met her in college at one of the night classes I was taking. We hit it off right away, both on the "vegetarian" diet. Angela was also attending university at Washington and knew right away that Stephanie was a vampire from her eyes; they were a replica of mine. Angela has known that I am a vampire, and that _he_ was a vampire for 11 years. She freaked out at first, getting nowhere near me, but we are best friends. We forgive and forget, and for that I am thankful. I couldn't have made it this far in my life without her. She listened to me after mope around after _he_ left. She was my shoulder to cry on and the one that told me to get up off my sorry butt and get on with my life.

Playing along with Stephanie, "I feel so old now that I'm 30. Everything is going to start sagging soon." I replied.

That hit home with both of my best friends and soon we were all clutching each other's arms to hold ourselves up from laughing so hard. Angela knew I was stuck in my 18 year old body and said that she was forever jealous of that. She has twins, Mattie and Nick, who are 3. Always claiming everything seems to have a jolt from gravity after having kids. We all knew that she was hot though for a 30 year old with 2 kids. Ben, her high school sweetheart and husband, made sure to keep guys in line around her.

"Bella," Angela whispered suddenly sobering up, "Mandy added some people to the invite list when

ordering the invitations. She never mentioned it until today. They just arrived and I don't know how to

politely get them to leave."

Confused by her nervousness, I tried to put her at ease, "Don't worry Ange, a few more people won't

hurt. It'll be fine. "

"You don't understand," she whispered back harshly, "It's the Cullens."

**A/N: Hi! This is my first story on FanFiction so please review and help me decide if I should continue **

**this or not. Thank you so much and I will be uploading picture links for this story onto my profile. **

**Your thoughts and ideas are appreciated 3 **

**I do not own Twilight! That belongs to the brilliant Stephanie Meyers!**


	2. Chapter 2

I froze. Was _he _here, to see _me?_ He left me 12 years ago! Why am I still letting him affect me? He doesn't love or care about me, probably hasn't thought about me since he left the forest, so there is no reason for me to love him. I scolded myself for not moving on, but what was I supposed to do? I was a vampire, and from past experiences knew it wasn't good for humans to be involved with vampires. I would be polite to his family; they didn't hurt me like he did. Making this promise to me calm myself down. Composing myself quickly I turned to Angela who was sweating bullets she was so nervous about the unexpected guests.

"Don't worry Ange," I said hugging her quickly, "I will be fine. It wasn't your fault they were invited. We will be polite, but please don't leave me alone with them. I don't trust myself that much." I finished in a whisper, my eyes pleading softly. Hugging me back softly, I felt her nod.

"Where's my hug?" asked Stephanie, adding a fake pout to get a smile on my face. It worked, of course. She always knew how to cheer me up. Ange and I made room for her to get in the hug before we all started walking towards the hotel where the ball room was. We laughed and talked about nothing on our way through the lobby and down the hall. I could hear music coming through the walls from the ball room, accompanied by people laughing and talking. Just as I reached out to turn the handle to the room, they pulled me towards a hall on the left.

"Nope, the birthday girl gets a different entrance." Stephanie said excitedly. She h ad obviously thought this through. There were two men waiting by a beautiful set of French doors, each impeccably dressed in a black suit with white gloves. I smiled to both, receiving a bow in return. Angela and Stephanie were grinning ear to ear, obviously proud of their hard work.

"Ok, so just stand here and look pretty until these guys," Angela pointed to the men in the black suits, "open the door. Then make your grand entrance! Good luck and happy birthday!" Angela snickered and walked away.

"See you on the other side," Steph said before gliding out of the room after Angela.

I heard my boss, Mr. Sanders, introduce himself and welcome everyone to the party. There was clapping and then I heard him announce me.

"Here goes," I willed myself to be strong. Shoulders squared, head held high, eyes bright, and smile wide I stepped into the room when the doors were opened. The room was very elegant. There was a large chandelier in the middle of the room with 4 smaller ones in each corner. They shone brightly, reflecting the colors of the rainbow along with another unnamed color. There was a band standing to the side of the stage with string instruments, quietly tuning. The tables set up near the back of the room each had a small bouquet of blue irises and white lilies with leaves thrown in. Each table held eight chairs, and the backs of each had a navy blue sash tied around it. Walking down the right side of the double staircase, I held onto the artistically carved mahogany rail that continued to the last step. During my descent everyone sang happy birthday, but my vampire hearing picked out certain voices, familiar ones, Angela, Stephanie, Jake and his wife Leah, fellow employees, and there was one more. It sounded familiar, yet I knew I hadn't spoken to this person in a long time. It was loud and carefree. I searched the room for the owner, smiling at people I knew as I went. Everyone was enjoying themselves, holding a glass of either wine or champagne while engaging in conversation with those around them. Jake and his wife, Leah, were making their way towards me through the throngs of people. Jake and Leah were both wolves. They still held the La Push treaty in place, but made an exception for Stephanie and I. The wolf pack was like family to us; they knew we would never do anything to hurt them or their people.

"Bella," Leah called out, pushing her way past people, I smiled at her but kept looking for the mystery person. I saw a muscular looking man with his back to me. He had a statuesque blonde on his arm. They both must have felt my stare because they turned to face me and then it hit me. It was Emmett and Rosalie. As soon as I saw their faces I turned, taking deep, unnecessary breaths to calm my suddenly racing, dead heart. Leah was slowing in front of me so I smiled, relieved to have a distraction.

"Hey Bella, happy 18th birthday!" she said, only loud enough for me and Jake to hear. We all laughed and I walked towards Jake to give him a hug, who had stationed himself behind Leah.

"Happy birthday Bells," he said in an enthusiastic tone, obviously excited to be out with his wife without their kids. He suddenly grew somber looking at something past me. He lowered his voice, "Cullen's headed our way at twelve o 'clock."

"Oh, shoot. Which ones?" I asked, suddenly anxious. There is no reason to be nervous, I told myself. They left. It was their choice, they just want to say happy birthday, no reason to be worried. You will see them tonight and then they will be out of your life like before. For some reason, that thought brought a wave of disappointment over me.

"The blonde and the giant. Do you want us to stay?" he asked apologetically. He knew how much I suffered when they left.

"No, no. I'll be fine. Just please find Ange and Steph." I pleaded. They would come as soon as they heard. They would be my excuse to leave the conversation, if necessary.

Nodding in understanding he pulled me in for another quick hug and kiss on the cheek, "Show them who's boss, Bells." He whispered in my ear. Knowing he believed in me, helped me feel confident I could

Trying to fake a smile, and failing miserably, I watched Jake put an arm around his wife and head towards the waiter walking around with wine. Leah gave a little finger wave along with a sympathetic look as she let her husband lead her away.

Breathing deeply, I turned to face the fast approaching vampires. Turning I found them staring at me, a mixture of shock, excitement, sorrow, and confusion written on their breathlessly-beautiful faces. They, of course, hadn't changed at all. I probably hadn't either since I had only been human eight months after their leaving. I was just thinner, as I had dropped a lot of weight during those eight months from misery. They looked spectacular together. Rosalie was modeling a blood red evening gown with a ruched bodice and jeweled waist that draped elegantly to the ground. She didn't look happy to be here. She looked flat out bored. Emmett on the other hand was grinning. Dressed in a pressed suit, shined shoes, and perfectly rolled up sleeves, he looked no less stunning than Rosalie. I cleared my throat, wanting to get this over with, and also hoping, deep down, that it was the start of something new.

**A/N: Thank you to those who reviewed the first chapter! I really appreciate the feedback. As I said before, this is my first story. I am still learning so any tips, or constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated. **

**I will try my best to update once or twice a week, but I have school and activities after school and homework. **

**I don't own Twilight. It belongs to Stephanie Meyers. Wish it was me…. **


	3. Chapter 3

I cleared my throat, "Rosalie, Emme..." I never got the chance to finish before I was enveloped in a bear hug from Emmett. I stiffened, but relaxed into the hug because I could feel the excitement radiating off his body. It's hard to stay mad at someone so happy. The next thing I knew I was lifted off my feet and twirled in a circle, the world blurring together into a rainbow of colors. I laughed at how easy my anger towards Emmett melted away. For a brief second I wondered if it would be the same way with Edward. Is he here tonight? I had to find out; I could feel the stress sneaking into my body just thinking about it. Feeling my feet reconnect to the ground, I swayed uneasily; I would have fallen had Emmett not grabbed my arm to steady me.

"Damn heels," I muttered under my breath, not loud enough for human ears. I considered what Stephanie would do if I "broke" a heel and had to take them off. I was wearing a floor length dress; no one would notice if I went around barefoot…hmm

"Same old, clumsy Bella." He joked, beaming.

I laughed, "You know I was never able to stay vertical, but I'm a little more gracious now that I'm…you know…," lowering my voice before continuing, "vampire." Mentally cursing myself for mentioning my condition, I tried to change the subject, "So uh, how are you guys doing?"

Emmett was not so easily deterred though, in as grave a voice I had ever heard from Emmett he asked, "Bella, when did you become one of our kind? Who changed you?"

I was at a loss for words. Should I tell them? Would they tell _him_? I pushed that thought from my head. I was having a hard time staying away from thoughts involving _him_ tonight. I looked between the long lost friends in front of me. Scratch that, long lost friend. Emmett looked as if he were about to blow a fuse and Rosalie was trying hard to look as if she were far more interested in her perfectly manicured nails than the conversation happening between the person she loved the most and person she hated the most. I caved, deciding I was going to tell them. We would be reconnecting no further after tonight so what was the harm?

Tilting my chin so I was able to look him in the eye I simply said, "Victoria. Eight months after your family left." The harsh edge to my voice surprised me. It portrayed the hurt I still felt, but fought to keep locked deep inside. Fearing they would be able to see how this topic affected me, I cast my eyes towards the floor. I clenched my hands into fists, fighting the memories of my poor baby girl that pushed towards that front of my mind. Taking a deep, shaky breath to keep the anguish from overtaking me, I lifted my eyes to find both of them frozen in place. I saw the realization sink in for Emmett as he stiffened, adding an inch to his already towering form. His eyes suddenly pitch black and blazing he let a string of profanities escape his mouth. Rosalie, fighting to keep her emotions in check, stepped on his foot, reminding him to stay in check. Realizing what he had done, he cursed again, this time too low for human ears. Rubbing a great hand over his face, he looked stressed. Why does this affect him, I wondered. They made their choice when they left me.

Emmett's voice snapped me from my thoughts, "So this is what she meant, Edward is going to have a hissy fit when he finds out."

This can't be happening. I felt as though I was going to lose it. "No!" I panicked. They can't tell him. Why would he even care?

Emmett looked up surprised, "Bella, Edward tracked Victoria for months after we left. When he finally caught up with her, she said something that completely unhinged him. Something about having already gotten revenge. I don't remember the exact words, but I know he will want to know about this."

I shook my head stubbornly, "There is no reason to tell," I took a deep breath to gain strength, "Edward." I had forgotten what it sounded like. His name rolled off my tongue like silk. I felt a warm tingle in my dead heart, but reality got my attention again. I need to get over him. "He left me twelve years ago. He doesn't love me and I'm sure he has moved on. He deserves happiness in his life and he made it clear a long time ago that I wasn't that happiness. There is no reason to bring me up to him. I'm a long forgotten memory to him." I didn't know if I was trying to convince Emmett or myself.

Emmett and Rosalie looked at as if I was crazy. Rosalie spoke for the first time this evening, "Wow. You're dumber than I thought." She snorted.

Anger flared within me. "I don't know what you're talking about. If you haven't noticed, I have done well in my lifetime." I was going to say more when I felt a warm, delicate hand on my shoulder and could smell the vanilla and lilac perfume. I relaxed, Jake had sent Angela. She seemed to forget what she came for, completely in awe of the beautiful creatures in front of us. Pulling herself together, I heard her speak, clear and strong, "Please excuse me as I steal Bella away. There are many that are just _dying_ to wish her happy birthday." I was surprised. She just let them know that she knew what they are. The vampires in front of us were trying hard to contain their emotions. Their faces were priceless. I giggled, "Okay, let's go Ange. It was uh, nice to see you guys again."

Turning and walking in the opposite direction I could feel their eyes on me. I snuck a glance back and nearly fell over when I saw four more familiar faces. Their faces a mixture of shock, excitement, and hurt; I'm sure my face mirrored them exactly.

A/N: I am so sorry it has been so long since I have updated, but life is HECTIC! I have clubs, lessons, practice, tutoring, etc. every day of the week :( It ends up taking up 90% of my time. I really want to do an exchange program near where my aunt lives in Switzerland next year, so I have to do everything I can this year to make my application for the school look good and that includes every after school activity under the earth. :/ I have already started the next chapter for this story so I am going to try to update by Sunday, but no promises. This chapter was short, so I will make sure that the next one longer. I appreciate all y'all putting up with me and my slow writing :)

Please review this chapter and the others! I will definitely welcome any tips, ideas, or criticism. If you have written story/stories on here you know that the reviews are very helpful!


	4. Chapter 4

I gripped onto Angela's arm and let a low hiss slip through my lips. "Bella." I heard someone call from across the room and looked up to find Stephanie near the stage, waving me over. Steering Angela in the direction of Steph, we made our way over slowly. Being stopped many times to be wished a happy birthday, I was already ready to call it a night. I had never been a fan of birthdays, or people fawning over me, and the two put together made this night unbearable. By the time we reached the edge of the stage, Steph was waiting, impatiently tapping her foot. I smiled to myself, thinking about how alike Steph and Alice were. Whoa, where did that come from! They wouldn't be meeting so there was no reason to even think about it. I focused on what Steph was wearing. Stunning as usual, she was modeling a deep purple evening gown with a deep v neck. With sunray pleating and an empire waist, it balanced out the lace and beading. All the single men had their eyes on her and she paid no attention, enjoying being single. As soon as we were close enough she pulled me off Angela's arm and towards the stage.

Confusion overtaking me I asked, "Steph, what are we doing?"

"_You_," she replied, "are going to be singing some of your songs."

"Wha...what? I can't, Steph, some of the _Cullen's _are out there."

"So? It's time to show them what they have been missing for twelve years. Make 'em beg for it. Ok, so just give me a second while I introduce you."

I grabbed her arm, panic setting in, "I don't have my music. I can't just remember them all right now."

She gave me a soft smile and squeezed my hand, knowing I was terrified, "Don't worry; I have everything taken care of. I picked out a couple songs for you to play, some on piano, others on guitar. The band has the sheet music for the songs and will be playing with you. I know you know all your songs by memory, so that's taken care of. You are going to do amazing, you always do." I stood frozen in place as she placed a microphone on me.

Taking a deep breath, I nodded, knowing I wouldn't win and also that the music would calm my nerves. Looking at the stage, I saw the band looking around lazily, waiting for their cue. The middle of the stage had my guitar on its stand next to the baby grand piano. I loved my guitar, it was just a simple acoustic Yamaha, but it had gotten me through so many times that it was priceless to me. The wood was the color of honey, shiny and slick. I could smell a hint of wax on the surface from when I last waxed the neck. Turning back to face my friends, I exhaled and gave a small smile. They knew I would be fine once I started playing; it came naturally. Both of them pulled me in for a hug, Stephanie squeezing hard and Angela begging for breath. I muttered under my breath that they were getting some serious revenge, knowing they would hear. Stepping away, I headed for the stage. With as much excitement as I could muster, I turned towards my audience. Scanning the crowd, I saw familiar faces, but many that I also couldn't give a name. I have never been good at making friends. I had drifted away from almost everyone in my graduating class from high school so my only real friends were Angela, Stephanie, and the wolf pack.

Knowing I need to get this show on the road, I grinned, "How is everyone enjoying themselves so far?" I asked.

I got a loud applause in response. I chuckled, "Well you can thank my great friends Angela and Stephanie for all this. None of this would have been possible without them."

After more applause, I made my way to the piano and sat of the leather bench behind it. I struck a key. "Okay, so this first song I wrote is called Listen. I hope you enjoy!"

Heading into the song, I could feel tension leaving me.

Listen to the song here in my heart  
>A melody I start but can't complete<br>Listen to the sound from deep within  
>It's only beginning to find release<p>

Oh, the time has come for my dreams to be heard  
>They will not be pushed aside and turned<br>Into your own all 'cause you won't  
>Listen<p>

Listen, I am alone at a crossroads  
>I'm not at home in my own home<br>And I've tried and tried to say what's on mind  
>You should have known<p>

Oh, now I'm done believing you  
>You don't know what I'm feeling<br>I'm more than what you made of me  
>I followed the voice you gave to me<br>But now I've gotta find my own

You should have listened, there is someone here inside  
>Someone I thought had died so long ago<br>Oh, I'm screaming out and my dreams'll be heard  
>They will not be pushed aside on words<p>

Into your own all 'cause you won't  
>Listen<p>

Listen, I am alone at a crossroads  
>I'm not at home in my own home<br>And I've tried and tried to say what's on mind  
>You should have known<p>

Oh, now I'm done believing you  
>You don't know what I'm feeling<br>I'm more than what you made of me  
>I followed the voice you gave to me<br>But now I've gotta find my own

I don't know where I belong  
>But I'll be moving on<br>If you don't, if you won't

Listen to the song here in my heart  
>A melody I start but I will complete<p>

Oh, now I'm done believing you  
>You don't know what I'm feeling<br>I'm more than what you made of me  
>I followed the voice you think you gave to me<br>But now I've gotta find my own, my own

Breathing hard, I looked up. Everyone was still for a moment before erupting in applause.

Smiling from all the attention, "Thank you, I have one more song I would like to play before turning it over to this wonderful band. This one I call Haunted." I was going to personally murder Stephanie for her choice in music. I wrote this song during one of my "Edward depression" days.

I reached over to pick up my guitar before returning to the middle of the stage. I nodded towards the violins, signaling the start of the song. The powerful sound filled the room, my guitar strumming in the background. After the introduction, I started singing

You and I walk a fragile line  
>I have known it all this time<br>but I never thought I'd live to see it break  
>It's getting dark and it's all too quiet<br>And I can't trust anything now  
>And it's coming over you like it's all a big mistake<p>

Oh, I'm holding my breath  
>Won't lose you again<br>something's made your eyes go cold

Come on, come on, don't leave me like this  
>I thought I had you figured out<br>Something's gone terribly wrong  
>You're all I wanted<br>Come on, come on, don't leave me like this  
>I thought I had you figured out<br>Can't breathe whenever you're gone  
>Can't turn back now, I'm haunted<p>

Stood there and watched you walk away  
>From everything we had<br>But I still mean every word I said to you  
>He would try to take away my pain<br>And he just might make me smile  
>But the whole time I'm wishing he was you instead<p>

Oh, I'm holding my breath  
>Won't see you again<br>something keeps me holding on to nothing

Come on, come on, don't leave me like this  
>I thought I had you figured out<br>Something's gone terribly wrong  
>You're all I wanted<br>Come on, come on, don't leave me like this  
>I thought I had you figured out<br>Can't breathe whenever you're gone  
>Can't turn back now, I'm haunted<p>

I know, I know, I just know  
>You're not gone. You can't be gone. No.<p>

Come on, come on, don't leave me like this  
>I thought I had you figured out<br>Something's gone terribly wrong  
>Won't finish what you started<br>Come on, come on, don't leave me like this  
>I thought I had you figured out<br>Can't breathe whenever you're gone  
>Can't go back, I'm haunted<p>

Oh

You and I walk a fragile line  
>I have known it all this time<br>Never ever thought I'd see it break.  
>Never thought I'd see it...<p>

Pouring my heart and soul into the song was easy, and I was glad I was unable to cry. _He _brought back great memories, memories I missed, but knew I would never have again. Knowing I could never be as happy as I was when_ he_ was mine, it tore me up. I have been dead inside since he left. Yes, I smile and laugh, but that's on the outside. I never feel warm on the inside anymore. I'm cold, like my granite skin. I never get the butterflies in the pit of my stomach like I used to when _he_ would look at me with those beautiful eyes and crooked smile. I'm filled with animal blood that sloshes around inside me. I no longer have a beating heart or crimson blush, reminding me that I will spend eternity alone.

I push all of these thoughts as I look at the smiling crowd, they didn't come to see my misery. They deserve better, so I plaster a smile back on my face. Looking out, I see some dabbing the corners of their eyes. As I go past their eyes though, I land on six pairs of golden eyes staring at me in pain. I nearly lose it. My family! Scolding myself, I come back to reality. They are not your family I repeat over and over. Drilling this into my head, I will myself to believe it. I'm in a haze as I thank everyone for coming and leave the stage. I hear the steady plucking from the cello as the band begins playing.

"Bella that was amazing!" Stephanie and Angela exclaimed as the rushed towards me.

I giggled, "I was pretty good, huh." One of the perks of being a vampire was your voice. It came in handy when playing the guitar and piano. Plus with Steph being the music therapist at the hospital, she tried to get me to help her out a lot.

We made our way around the room, being stopped to be complimented. If I could blush right now, my whole face would be red. I didn't mind being complimented once or twice, but I felt bashful getting all this praise. I held a glass of champagne for looks, taking a small sip every once in a while. It was bitter and didn't go down easily. I had to keep myself from gagging. As I took one more sip, I nearly choked when I looked up to find the Cullen's in front of my friends and I. Angela pat me on the back while Steph took the glass from my hand. Flanking me on either side, they stayed quiet. Standing in front of me were six of the most magnificent creatures I had ever seen. Carlisle was holding up Esme, who looked on the edge of a breakdown. Jasper holding back a nearly vibrating Alice and Emmett grinning ear to ear with Rosalie wearing a sour expression. They didn't compare to Edward in the least though, no one would ever. Sighing in defeat, I saw Jasper release his hold on Alice.

Knocking the breath from me, I felt arms of steel squeezing the life out of me, "Bella! Oh my God! Is it really you?" I looked down at her small form. She still had her hair in the same short, fun trend she had the last time I saw her. Dressed to the 10s, she modeled a navy blue floor length gown with a beaded waist.

Laughing nervously, "Yeah, the one and only."

"And you're wearing an original Faviana design! I am so proud of you! I can't wait to go shopping again." She exclaimed, eyeing my gown. Obviously overjoyed, it enlightened me. It took away some of the hurt that had come with her family's abrupt departure.

"Bella, I have missed you so much! I can't wait to catch up!"

Esme made her way forward, looking as if at any moment she might break.

"Bella," she gasped, cradling my cheek in her motherly way, "It's really you. Ever since we got the invitation in the mail, I've been so worried that it wouldn't be you." Pulling me into a hug, I could feel love radiating from her. Hugging her back, I felt like crying I was so happy. Another pair of strong arms wrapped around both of us and I knew it was Carlisle.

"It's nice to see you again Bella." I just nodded in return, not wanting to ruin this moment with words. After a moment, he gently removed his wife.

Jasper being the only one I hadn't talked to, I turned to him.

Seeing he had my attention, "It's nice to not want to kill you for once. Maybe we can actually be friends now that I can be within ten feet of you."

Nodding, I pulled him in for a quick hug before stepping back.

Remembering my friends, I pointed and spouted off names, "Carlisle, Esme, Jasper, Alice, Rosalie, Emmett." Reversing the direction, "Angela, Stephanie."

Reaching a hand towards my friends, Carlisle gave a warm smile, "Pleasure to meet you. We have to thank you for your friendship to Bella during our absence."

Returning the smile, Angela was dazzled by him, "I….it was no problem. Bella is family."

We spent the rest of the evening catching up and enjoying ourselves. Angela and Stephanie quickly became friends with the Cullen's. Alice was already planning a shopping trip with Stephanie that included using me as a dress up doll. Angela and Esme were deep in conversation concerning her home renovations. As the night ended, I found myself wishing I could spend more time with them.

"Would you all like to come over after this?" I asked, nervous for the first time in a couple hours.

"Yes yes yes yes yes!" Alice exclaimed. Everyone else nodded. We made arrangements for them to follow the limo home. Stephanie and Angela went home, leaving me alone with them once at my house.

Leading them inside, I went upstairs quickly to change into my favorite sweats and hospital t shirt. I took my hair down and washed off the makeup. Once back down stairs, I found the air full of tension

"Is it true," a heartbroken Alice asked, "about Victoria?"

Grimly, I nodded. I should have known this would come up in the conversation. It couldn't be avoided forever.

A sharp intake of breath from Esme was the only thing that could be heard in the room. In the distance, an owl could be heard hooting.

A somber Carlisle asked, "Tell us about it. We want to know what happened."

**A/N: It has been about two weeks since I have last updated, sorry! I can't write the story during the weeks so that leaves only the weekends. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Any comments, ideas, constructive criticism, etc. would be greatly appreciated! I will be posting a link for a picture of Alice's dress on my profile. **

**I do not own any of the Twilight characters or ideas but I do own my ideas and characters! **

**The songs I used in this chapter are Haunted-Taylor Swift and Listen-Beyonce. Any and all suggestions for songs to use possibly in the future chapters are greatly appreciated.**


	5. Chapter 5

How was I supposed to explain to my old family the pain I went through? How was I supposed to tell them about Reneseme? These questions along a million others were racing through my head. I couldn't answer any of them though.

I moved towards the untaken chair in the corner, knowing it was best if I wasn't standing when I told my story. I hadn't told my story for over ten years. It was still painful to think of what happened, even harder to talk about.

Taking a deep breath, I began, "Well, the day Edward left," I flinched, and it didn't go unnoticed, Esme came over and took my hands in hers, urging me on, "I had some news of my own. I never got to tell him though before he took off, so he doesn't know. I…I was pregnant," I looked up from where I had been staring and cast my eyes towards the vampires, and whispered, "and the baby was his." All eyes were now staring directly back at me, shock clouding them.

Carlisle, the first to come out of the stupor, shook his head, "It isn't possible."

Sadly, I reminded him, "I wasn't a vampire then. It was possible."

He was adamant, "Edward wouldn't be that irresponsible though. He's over 100 years old!"

"We all make mistakes Carlisle. Edward didn't know. It was my fault."

Everyone else had been listening to our exchange quietly. Alice perked up, a light in her eyes, "Does this mean I'm an aunt?" She asked excitedly.

Everyone turned towards me, the question obvious in their eyes. I shrunk back a little, knowing that the hardest part was coming. "That was what I was getting to. I was pregnant with a baby girl and I was going to name her Reneseme. It's a mix of Esme and Renee. When I was eight months pregnant, Victoria made reappearance in my life. She said she wanted revenge. 'A mate for a mate' were her exact words. I had a baggy sweatshirt on so she didn't notice the swollen state of my stomach." I shook my head, ashamed of my actions. "I was so stupid." I whispered. Wincing as memories of Reneseme, dead on the floor, returned to the front of my mind. I couldn't break down here in front of everyone though so I forced myself to continue, "I put my hand on my stomach out of habit. She noticed my protective hand and," my voice broke, "killed her. She killed Reneseme and changed me, Renee and Charlie. "

It was as if I couldn't stop my mind from playing the horrible moment over and over again in my mind. Waking up and finding Reneseme, a rainbow of purple and blues with her eyes closed and her lips a perfect 'o' shape. She was on the floor, still. The heart breaking moment I realized her heart wasn't beating and my one piece left of Edward was gone. The guilt was eternal, never easing, only greatening with time. Knowing that I, the mother of my child, killed her through my own faults, ripped me in half. I didn't mind though. I knew I deserved it.

I knew I should be keeping my act together since the Cullen's were here, but I didn't care anymore. It was as if I had no control over my body.

Esme POV

As I took a trembling Bella into my arms, I began to realize just how much our hasty departure had hurt her. Bella was family and families stick together. What we did to her was unforgiveable. The fact that she was sharing her story with us was more that we deserved. We weren't there to protect her when she needed us most. What kind of family are we?

Bella's agonized pleas drew me out of my thoughts, "Reneseme forgive me. Please come back. Don't leave me. I love you, I promise. Don't leave me."

I rubbed my hands up and down her arm as I murmured words of love to her. She wrapped her arms around me as dry sobs coursed through her body. Alice walked over to Bella and I and hugged her, and offered small words of comfort. She wasn't her normal perky self. I wonder if she was as disgusted with our family. I locked eyes with Carlisle, his eyes mirroring my feelings. How could we have believed Edward when he said Bella would be fine? Did he have any idea what we had caused? I need to talk to him. If he will listen, that is. Ever since he left Bella, he had always been too busy to visit us or have us visit him. Spending all his time at his law office in Anchorage, he stayed with the Denali's at night to keep his human façade in place. He worked every moment possible and had become a quite sought after lawyer. I knew he missed Bella. He used work as an excuse to not think of her. He couldn't fool his mother, no matter how hard he might try.

Staying with the Denali's, Tanya had immediately tried to turn his attention to her. Having always loved the attention of every boy who looked her way, Edward had never given her the pleasure of a second glance. This unnerved her to no end, doing her best now to seduce him. I just hope my son has enough sense to stay true to his heart and to his true love.

Bella POV

It was an understatement to say I was embarrassed. I had just barred my soul to my long lost family only hours after reuniting. I didn't know if they were staying. I didn't know if they cared. I didn't know if they would tell Edward. We had finally taken the spotlight off me after I pulled my act together, though barely being held together by a thread, and put it on their life. They seemed a little nervous on the subject, although I didn't know why. Alice and Jasper had been traveling, gathering information about Alice's human life. Perking up when I asked her what she found, her eyes glittered before dimming as she told the sad ending of her human life. She had been left in an asylum by her family. They had used that date on her tombstone, not bothering to wait until she actually did die. Jasper reached for her hand, squeezing it reassuringly. I made my way over to her, wrapping my arms around her and whispered to her that her family had missed out on an amazing person. I sat down next to her as Emmett told of his adventures with Rosalie in England. Rosalie actually warmed up to me a bit and recounted the cars she restored. Carlisle and Esme had made their home in Columbia, South America, having opened a free clinic for the people of the town.

I had forgotten how comfortable it was to be around them. The emptiness in the pit of my stomach wasn't as prominent when they were around. It felt like a weight had been lifted from my tired shoulders. I felt like I belonged in their family again, although I knew that could never happen.

We continued catching up until a breathtaking sunrise began to dance across the dark sky. I realized I had a shift starting at the hospital in an hour and needed to get ready. Alice, of course, knew when I made this decision and jumped up from where she had been sitting.

"We need to get going and you need to get ready. BUT when the shift is over we are going shopping." She said, grinning ear to ear. Before I had a chance to protest though, her face took on a faraway look. The one I remembered she got when she was getting a vision. We all stopped and watched her. Waiting to hear about what she saw. As she snapped out of it, her eyes were blazing.

"I swear he is losing more of his mind each day!" She muttered more to herself than anyone else.

"Alice, love, what did you see?" Jasper urged gently, knowing she was not in the best of moods.

"Tanya," her voice was full of disgust as she spit her name out, "just made my plans a lot more complicated."

"Huh? What's that supposed to mean." Emmett was scratching his head out of confusion.

"Edward is now officially engaged to Tanya."

**A/N: Hi everyone! Sorry for the long wait. As you can now tell, I am horrible at cliff hangers. I promise to try though **** Any reviews with suggestions, comments, ideas, etc. are greatly appreciated!**


	6. Chapter 6

Bella POV

Any hopes I had ever had in the depths of my heart that Edward might still love me were crushed. He had truly forgotten about me. It hurt to know this, but not as much as the day in the forest. He could never hurt me more than he did that day.

After Alice had made the announcement about Edward's engagement, she had stormed out, muttering about Edward's stupidity. Everyone following after her, Esme stopped to make sure she could come by and see me again. I reminded her of Alice's plans to take me shopping. She nodded and laughed, probably remembering my low tolerance for shopping, as she made her way to catch up with her family.

I made my way up the stairs, stopping in the bathroom to take a quick shower. The warm water soothed my hectic nerves. Edward's crooked smile, messy bronze hair, and liquid topaz eyes filled my thoughts. Even after all these years, and all that he had done, envisioning him still helped me feel happy and calm. I shuddered though, when his eyes turned cold and unfeeling. The liquid turned solid like the day in the forest. That still brought turmoil and pain. I finished washing and turned the shower off, stepping out. I began blow drying my hair. I thought about the rest of the Cullen's, that wasn't as painful as thinking of Edward. In fact, it wasn't painful at all anymore. I had gotten part of my family back; this brought a smile to my face. I finished drying my hair and went to my closet to choose what I was going to wear. I ran today's schedule through my mind, deciding whether to go to work dressed casually or dressy. I had two meetings today one at nine with the board of directors and the other at noon over with lawyers from Alaska regarding a scholarship I was establishing. I had they were the best in the business and decided I might as well go all out and hire them, so I flew them down from Anchorage.

Definitely dressy, I chose a light purple dress with a high waist and ruffles around the v neck. I matched it with some black pumps, not as high as most women wore these days since I didn't want to risk tripping any more than usual, that are my favorite. I threw it on quickly and grabbed a little black sweater in case it was "cold". Taking my cell off the charger and reaching for my purse and keys as I made my way toward the garage, I felt as if something big was about to happen. I didn't know what it was, so I did my best to shake the feeling off. Clicking the unlock button on my Mercedes, I got settled inside before beginning my drive to the hospital. I bought my car shortly after I was changed; I was really getting annoyed with my truck and its snail pace. I drove a lot faster since my change and the drive was over before I knew it. I made my way to my office leisurely, stopping by to say hi to a few of the patients that had become dear to me.

"Doctor Swan," I turned towards the direction of whoever called my name. It was my boss' assistant, Ellen, "They are waiting on you in the conference room."

I looked down at the watch on my wrist, a gift from the hospital, and saw I was, in fact running a little late. "Oops, the time just got away from me. I'll make my way there now. Thanks for telling me." I smiled in her direction before making my way to the conference room. Ellen was right, they were waiting on me. I quickly apologized for my tardiness before getting down to business. The meeting went down without a hitch, discussing possible renovations and even editions to the hospital. It was over at half past ten and I began to make my rounds. I made my way to room 218, Mrs. Davis was reading the latest Beverly Lewis novel, The Mercy, when I entered. She had been in a car accident the day before, getting a broken leg out of it. She seemed eager to leave, and looked healthy. I could hear her heartbeat, thrumming loud and strong. I checked her over and signed her release forms before wishing her a quick recovery and making my way to the next patient's room. I continued checking on my patients and chatting with a few of the other doctors about the party last night. They all seemed to have enjoyed it. The time passed quickly like it always did. I truly did love the work I did. I thought about getting a degree in literature while I was in college, but decided to become a doctor instead. I never regretted the decision.

The two lawyers I had flown down from Alaska would be here a week before flying back to Alaska. This would hopefully be the first of many meetings. I had talked to one of them, Mark Tucker, who sounded well educated and enthusiastic about his work.

After I had spent my morning seeing patients, I stopped in at one of Stephanie's therapy sessions and helped out. I was running a little behind and asked my boss to meet the lawyers at the conference room so I could run to my office and get the forms they had faxed me to fill out. As I made my way from my office to the conference room, my acute hearing picked up three voices, my boss John, Mark, and the third sounded familiar. I stopped dead in my tracks, as suddenly unable to blink, breath, or move when I distinguished whose voice it was. All I could do was stand there. "Edward." I breathed. The patch I had put over the gaping hole in my heart was ripped off at the sound of his voice. The rejection and devastation finally free to flow wildly through my body, along with the ache I had buried 12 years ago. The ache to feel the adoration and devotion he had shown and I had taken advantage of when he was mine. The conversation in the conference room seemed to be mainly between John and Mark, Edward only adding when necessary. His voice was still as appealing as it used to, if not more, but he seemed to have developed an edge to it, an edge of utter defeat. I didn't know why, but I wanted to run to him comfort him, tell him everything was going to be ok. Panic started to set in though, and the questions ran rampant through my mind. Why is he here? Was he my lawyer? Does he know that I'm here? What will he do when he sees I'm a vampire? I shook my head, forcing the thoughts out of the front of my mind. I knew there was only one way to get the answer to my questions. Go in the room. I was going to have to go in eventually and I might as well get it over with sooner, rather than later. Besides, why should it be awkward? He was a big boy; over 100 years old and engaged. I'm sure he won't give me a second thought romantically. This reminder made my heart sink. I had wanted to marry him when he had still loved me, and even though he has forgotten about me I still want to marry him. I knew it was crazy, but like Woody Allen once said, "The heart wants what the heart wants." Brushing stray hairs away from my face, smoothing out my dress, I scolded myself for this extra preparation. He doesn't care what you look like, a little voice in my head told me, reminding me of my unfortunate reality. Regaining what little composure I could and putting a cool, calm mask on my face, I reached for the door. My hand shaking as it made contact with the cool metal, I turned the knob. I had no idea how he would react to seeing me, but I couldn't help but feel overjoyed at the thought of seeing _him_. Edward.

**A/N: Hi! Hope you enjoyed the chapter I had to rewrite it 3 times before I got it right. Please review review review! It is all really helpful and appreciated I have made a blog with the pictures that go along with the story. It is: anotherchanceatforvever(dot)blogspot(dot)com**

**Hope you enjoy and thank you for reading: D **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight **


	7. Chapter 7

BPOV

As I walked into the room I could hear the words for a new song floating around in my head:

"I always knew this day would come  
>The world is just too small<br>To keep our paths from crossing  
>Here we are just look at us….."<p>

I burned the words in my mind, promising myself I would play around with it later. Right now I needed to concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other instead of running away like my instincts were screaming at me to do. I tried to keep my breathing steady and calm, instead of the fast erratic pace I could almost feel my breathless heart thrumming along to.

My eyes connected almost immediately with my boss, both lawyers had their back to me. It gave me an extra second to just stare in amazement at the creature before me. The disarray of bronze hair was still perfection. His broad shoulders were covered by a tailored black suit and his pale skin contrasted beautifully with it. The man next to him was also pale and well built, rivaling Emmett in the muscles department with a buzz cut of honey golden hair. I concluded that he was Mark, the man I spoke with on the phone. He turned around first and I was shocked to see he had brown eyes like me. Not the ugly ones I was unfortunate enough to have had as a human, but the liquid topaz eyes I had now. He was a vampire. A broad smile graced his boyish features. He looked to be in his mid-twenties.

"Bella! Such a pleasure to finally meet you in person." He said.

"You too, thank you for coming at such short notice. I'm sure you're very busy." I could barely form a sentence. It was all so overwhelming. I flew two vampires in to be my lawyers, one of them broke my heart and was the father to my unborn child, and his family who had disappeared along with him had made reappearance in my life. A mixture of emotions had risen to the surface, and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't push them back down. Happiness, abandonment, and panic seemed to be the most prominent of them all.

John was already making his way to the door, eager to start his lunch break. "Okay, I will see you later Bella. Nice meeting you guys!"

"Thank you for helping John." Then he left, his heavy footsteps could be heard going down the hall.

Then I turned towards the man I had been dreaming of for the past 12 years, doing my best to keep a smile plastered on my face. He hadn't stopped staring at me since I walked in the door. It unnerved me to no end. It was as if he was trying to decide whether or not this was reality or simply a dream.

Be polite, I scolded myself. "It's nice to see you again, Edward." I tried not to flinch when I spoke his name. There was no reason for him to see my pain.

The velvety voice I had longed to hear washed over me, "You too." The strain was evident in his voice, as though he wanted to be anywhere but here. He didn't want to be here. My heart sank a little deeper into its present abyss at this conclusion.

"Wait a minute." Mark interjected, "You too know each other?" The confusion evident on his face.

Clearing his throat and running a nervous hand through his hand before continuing, "Yeah, we went to high school together."

That was a low blow. He had degraded me to a simple acquaintance from high school. The type that you forget about for 10 years until that little invite arrives in the mail, summoning you back to the hell chamber you practically lived in for 4 years of your life. The type that you pretend to be so happy to see, but inside your bored to tears. Anger flared within me. We might have been over for more than a decade, but that didn't mean he could forget about me! I had truly loved him with all my heart. I still did. He played with my heart and let me fall head over heels for him. I was just a distraction though. Nothing more. So much for being polite.

Mark's eyes nearly popped out of his head. "_This _is the girl you left, Edward?"

I spoke before _Edward_ had a chance to try and correct him. "You heard him. All we did was go to high school together." Glaring the entire time in Edward's direction. I was pretty sure I got my point across because he began studying the laces of his designer shoes.

A long awkward silence pursued, Mark not even daring to break it.

"Okay, let's get down to business." I clapped my hands breaking the tense air in the room. Both of them scrambled towards the conference table in the center of the room, busying themselves with the organizing of papers. They began whispering furiously and I only caught a few of the words. I was getting impatient. I really just wanted to leave. I was interrupted by the chirp of my phone though. I was shocked to see the caller ID splay the name Alice across the screen. She must have entered her number in my phone while I was changing last night. Should I pick it up though? Her brother was in the room and I doubted he knew his family was also in town. Alice wouldn't be happy though if I didn't pick up. Moving to the far side of the room, I touched the little accept button on the touch screen and put it against my ear.

"Hi Bella!" She sang into the phone. I saw Edward's head snap up at the sound of her voice.

"Hey, what's up?" I said, turning away from Edward's inquisitive stare.

"I just wanted to know if you wanted to meet me at the mall or swing by our place first."

"Can you come by my office?"

"Sure."

"Great, just stop by the desk and they'll direct you to my office."

"See you then!"

"Bye." I clicked the end call button and shoved the phone in my pocket. The tingly feeling all over my body from Edward's gaze had only gotten stronger. It felt nice.

As I turned around, Mark began. "Okay, so we have a lot of things to work out over the course of the week, but today I would like to focus on the basic foundation for the scholarship.

And so it was. It was the most stressful hour of my life. We agreed to meet tomorrow at the same time and I flew out of the room once the arrangements were made, having a break down once I reached my office.

EPOV

As soon as I saw her I was floored, all I was capable of doing was staring. She was a vampire. I had no idea how it had happened, but all I could think about how beautiful she was. I cursed myself. I was engaged. Tanya was beautiful as well, but she couldn't make me incoherent when she simply walked in the room. Only Bella. Being the idiot I am, I hurt her. Again. It killed me that I was the one that caused the look of pain in her eyes. After she fled the room, Mark cornered in on me.

"She's the girl you left isn't she." He demanded.

"Yeah. I screwed it up again didn't I?"

He shook his head, "You are in deep."

We stood there for a few minutes, him looking at me and me looking at the ground.

He spoke quietly, seriously. "You still love her don't you."

I looked up at him, "It's like I've just seen the sun for the first time. When she walked in, all I wanted to was run to her and beg for her forgiveness."

"Go talk to her."

I nodded, I knew he was right. I was never going to get anywhere with her without trying to mend things with her. "I'll meet you at the car."

He waved, turning back to the table to file the papers back into his briefcase.

When I reached the door with the name _Dr. Swan_ carved in I stopped short. Dry sobs coming from the other side of the door were muffled by the wooden door. It ripped me apart, hearing that and not being able to comfort her. I wanted to have that privilege again one day. I _needed_ to have that privilege. I was going to call things off with Tanya as soon as I got the chance. Bella made me realize that I never loved Tanya. She was a friend, but I never loved her. I wanted Bella to be the one I spent the rest of my life with. I wanted to do whatever it took to make that happen. The first step was to go in and talk to her, so I knocked on the door.

There were quick, clumsy movements accompanied by a heavy hearted, "Coming."

Just that one little word made my heart soar and then the door opened and I could feel that incoherence hitting me.

**A/N: Hi y'all! I am getting into a pattern of updating regularly every other Saturday. Wanna know what happens next? Check back not next Saturday but the one after that! :D I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I can't wait to start working on the next chapter, its gettin' good! **

**The song I used in this chapter is called Over You by Reba McEntire a.k.a. the greatest country singer of all time! I am so excited. I get to see her in concert today!**

**Review review review please :DDDDDD And thanks for all the reviews I have gotten, it means a lot **


	8. Chapter 8

"Just give me five minutes, Alice, and then I'll be ready to go." I said, as I opened the door. It wasn't Alice though. It was Edward.

"Can I come in?" he asked, looking nervously at me. I opened the door wider and stepped aside, allowing him to enter the office.

"You have a nice office, Bella," he said.

"Did you come here to appraise the way I decorated my office?" I asked as I turned my back to him so I could busy myself with anything other than staring at him. I turned towards my desk and picked the stack of medical journals up off the floor that I had borrowed from John. I needed to return them to him before I left.

"Let me hel…"

"Oh, save it! Why are you here? I have more important things to do," I snapped.

"To talk," he said, and looked out the window.

Talk? About what? How he fooled with my heart? How he left me in the woods? Or even better how he became my lawyer!

"There is nothing to talk about. Boy meets girl. Boy and girl hook up. Boy breaks girl's heart and leaves. What is there left to say? Let me answer the question. Nothing," I said coldly.

He lowered his head and nodded. "I'm sorry Bella."

I lost it. "After twelve years, all you have to say is 'I'm sorry Bella'?" I spat, making him flinch.

"Pl..."

"You broke me to pieces! You threw away our life, our dreams, and all you say is sorry?" I yelled as I saw the guilt cloud his eyes.

What was he trying to accomplish? Why did he come here? To remind me of the life I could never have with him? To rub it in my face that he had moved on while I still held on to the shred of hope that he could love me?

I could feel my chest heaving from anger and pain. Wasn't I enough for him? Wasn't my love strong enough?

"You've changed," he whispered after a while.

"I am as you made me. You don't like it? Rewind 12 years and make some different choices.

," I said, inhaling deeply as I turned my back on him. "There is nothing you can do to take away what you've done," I finished. I barely heard the door closing behind me. I sank down in my chair, memories of the past adding to my pain.

-_Flashback-_

_It had been 7 months since Edward had left. Angela had talked me into going to the diner for lunch. I rarely went anywhere other than school and the doctor so it was a big step for me. Angela visited my regularly, telling me all about Ben and the child they were expecting. They had gotten married a couple months ago. I didn't remember very well. I was her maid of honor, but I was still wallowing in my grief and sorrow so I wasn't much help. It helped me become more like my old self as I spent more time with her and her fiancé. Ben was a great guy and he was like a brother to me now. He was as excited, if not more, about their unborn child. Angela had pulled me from the comforting darkness of my room to celebrate. They had gotten an ultrasound earlier in the day and found out the sex of the child. It was going to be a boy. They were over joyed already throwing around ideas for names. After our food arrived, Angela got serious. _

"_Have you ever thought about trying to contact, you know, __**him**__?" She asked her eyes solemn, gauging my reaction to the bomb she just dropped._

_I didn't disappoint, I had been mid swallow when she asked causing me to choke on the bite of pancakes I had seconds ago thought delicious. She patted me on the back, my eyes wide and my mouth open, gasping for breath._

"_Wha…what?"_

_Keeping her head down and busying herself with playing with the untouched food, "I….I just was thinking about how much Ben is looking forward to the baby. I mean, haven't you ever thought Edward might want to be a part of Reneseme's life?"_

_I should have known someone would ask eventually, but it still hurt. To know that the father of my child would never meet his creation. That he would never be here for the pregnancy or the birth, or for any of her life. _

"_N…no, I told you. He, he promised I would never see him again."_

_Sighing, she nodded, "I remember, sorry for bringing it up, but if you ever see him again promise me something. Promise me that you will tell about him about Reneseme and let him be a part of her life if he wants."_

_I knew she was right, "Okay. I promise."_

_Grinning, she reached over and squeezed my hand before diving back into her ideas for the baby's bedroom._

_-End of flashback-_

I may not want to talk to him, but he deserved to know about Reneseme. Guilt began to creep up on me. I knew I needed to apologize for the way I had spoken to him. He had wanted to talk and I had lashed out at him. Groaning, I pulled out my phone and called the front desk.

"Dr. Swan, how may I help you?" The receptionist answered.

"When you see Mr. Cullen can you please ask him to wait? Tell him I need to talk to him."

**A/N: Hi again Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving! **

**Thank you for all the reviews. They are great! Any comments, ideas, criticism, etc. is appreciated. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**


	9. Chapter 9

My breathing became fast and erratic as I got closer to the ER lobby. I had no idea what I was going to do once I got there, but I couldn't let him again. I pushed through the doors and froze in in place at the picture before me. Edward slouched in a chair with his head in his hands and his hands in a death grip on his hair, he looked completely and utterly defeated. I wanted to run to him, kiss away the pain and tell him everything was going to be okay, but it wasn't. His head snapped up to look at me at the sound of arrival.

"Edw…" The words died in my throat when I met his eyes. His eyes were haunted. Icy and vacant, the depth and warmth that filled them before was gone.

Time seemed to stand still as I stood there chest heaving, eyes wide, mouth gaping. As we stood there, the vacancy seemed to fade into an abyss of topaz I had once loved more than my own life. A throat being cleared snapped us out of our trance. I turned to glare at the person who had interrupted us, which turned out to be an old man. He turned away from my intimidating scowl, cheeks tinted with red.

Edward stood, hands shoved in his pockets, obviously uncomfortable. I made my way over to him and stood close enough that I could smell the deep muskiness of his cologne, still the same after all these years. It hit me like a pack of bricks, leaving me dizzy with heartache. He wouldn't look me in the eye like before, instead letting his eyes dart in the room. I waited, but he was careful not to catch my eye.

Sighing I began, "I was wrong. We do need to talk." Surprise filled his eyes as he finally met mine and what I thought was, hope?...

I dug around in the pocket of my lab coat for one of my business cards and a pen.

"But not here."

Using the side table next to him to bare down on, I wrote my address on the back of the card before holding it out for Edward to take. Staring at it for a moment before reaching out and taking it, he held it tightly, as though I might change my mind and snatch it from him.

His eyes were shining and that crooked smile I had missed so much was on full display for me. I felt warmth inside I hadn't felt for twelve years and it dazzled me. It was something only he could do to me. It made me smile a true smile.

"I should be home around eight. Come by any time after that." I tried to sound casual, undazzled by him.

"You won't regret this." He sounded sincere.

My smile faltered, "No, but you might."

His crooked smile slipped away, and his eyes dimmed. I sighed, and I felt the guilt begin to take over. I needed to get away or I would probably have a break down soon.

I turned to go and as I scanned my hospital ID I looked back before I made my way through the doors. Edward was staring after me with an intense look of longing on his face.

It took everything in me not to run at full speed back to my office. I needed to get out of here. I saw Sam, known as Dr. Holt to patients, leaning over a clipboard with a nurse discussing something.

"Sam," I called, trying not to sound desperate.

He looked up and his eyes widened when he saw me. I must look a wreck I thought. "Bella, are you okay? You don't look so good."

"I, uh, I think I need to go home. I'm not feeling too great. I'm sorry to ask on such short notice, but could you cover for me and do my rounds?"

"Of course."

I let out a breath, relieved. "Thanks, I owe you. Everything you need should be on my desk, if it isn't call me."

"Okay, you go home and get some rest."

I choked out one more thanks before turning on my heel. I stopped to talk to John, to tell him I was going home and he agreed.

The drive home was a blur, I was a jumbled mess and I needed to get a hold of myself before Edward came over. When I got home I threw my keys aside and ran to my music room. Grabbing my guitar I pulled the strap over my head, I took a moment to admire the sleek wood of my guitar before grabbing a pick and playing around with the song that had been forming in my head all day.

I lost myself in the music, like always. Music was my escape. My comfort when I was tormented by memories. The memories of the first month away from Edward were the worst. The agony and numbing pain were a dark shadow that constantly hovered over me. The nightmares I faced never stopped, even after my transformation, they continued to overtake me in a different form. When I was alone, I would slip into a trance filled with a haunting realness I couldn't seem to escape. It was filled with troubling memories of those months, but the worst were the ones with Victoria and Reneseme. Those caused me to black out from an overload of emotions. I had never told anyone, scared of what they might say or think.

I had written a lot of songs about Edward and me. It had become the best coping method for me. Now was no different as I started from the beginning, singing the lyrics to the song I had just written. (*Read lyrics*)

_I always knew this day would come  
>World is just too small<br>To keep our paths from crossing  
>Here we are just look at us<em>

_I always wondered what I'd say  
>Would I tell you that life is great?<br>I'm getting better all the time  
>Really lookin' up<em>

_Could I be too proud  
>To show my heart?<br>Well, to tell the truth  
>It's not that hard<em>

_I'm still not over you  
>Still the only thing I wanna do<br>Is open up my arms and reach for you  
>And to hear you say, you want me, too<em>

_You're the one for me  
>Time doesn't seem to disagree<br>Baby, I'm still not  
>Over you getting over me<em>

_Guess I'll never be  
>Over you<em>

_So there it is, I've said it now  
>God I wish some way somehow<br>You'd look at me, start to cry  
>Say, you missed me too<em>

_But you moved on  
>I understand<br>Yeah, I tried that too  
>But here I am<em>

_I'm still not over you  
>Still the only thing I wanna do<br>Is open up my arms and reach for you  
>And to hear you say, you want me, too<em>

_You're the one for me  
>Time doesn't seem to disagree<br>Baby, I'm still not  
>Over you getting over me<em>

_Guess I'll never be_

_Strong enough to finally set you free  
>I know love will never let me be<em>

_Over you  
>I'm still not over you<em>

**A/N: Sorry for the delay, but it has been a crazy week. I had district honor band tryouts yesterday and I have been nervous all week. I really hope I make it I know this chapter is a little short, I promise the next one will be longer! Thanks for all the reviews. Please continue to review, it means a lot **

**The song used in this chapter is Over You- Reba McEntire. She is awesome :D**

**P.S.- I am looking for a beta if anyone is interested please private message me **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, just the plot!**


	10. Chapter 10

Emotionally drained and in desperate need of animal blood I set out running for the woods. It was refreshing to feel the cool air whipping around me as I tore through the woods, settling on a deer I smelta half mile away. As I ran I remembered _the talk_. I had been so nervous, waiting for Edward to arrive. I had blown Alice and Esme off, sending a quick text that I wasn't able to go shopping. Alice had respond saying she understood and that she would call me later; though I'm guessing she had a vision. I had spent hours in my music room, mentally steeling myself to tell Edward the truth. I was so afraid he'd hate me…well more than he already did, and I didn't think I could take the remorse that would come from that. I was already so guilty; guilty for not telling him, guilty for continuing to love him, guilty for not protecting Renesmee better. The worst part is knowing that I deserved the guilt. I deserved whatever he would say to me. When the doorbell rang it had brought me from my thoughts, how had I missed his arrival? I flew down the stairs and stopped in front of the door. I stared at the knob for a second. Debating on whether or not to open it, I heard Angela in my mind telling me in my mind it was the right thing to do. With that thought running through my head, I managed the courage to open the door.

He stood before me in all his glory, with his hands knotted deeply in his hair and eyes conveying the anxiety we were both feeling. So I wasn't the only one. His hands shot from his head to his jean pockets at my presence. He had changed since I had last seen him. Gone was the stuffy business suit, but in its place was a lose fitting t shirt and jeans. He almost looked normal. _Almost_. He was too beautiful to be normal.

"Edward." I breathed.

He offered me a weak smile, not the crooked one (the double word sounded sloppy) I longed to see. "Do you want to walk while we talk?" He asked.

_No. Bad memories. I can't. _I thought, almost as if he could hear me.

He must have seen the horror on my face. "Or we could stay here." He added quickly.

Breathing a sigh of relief I nodded, then turned and gestured him to follow. Closing the door behind him, I led him into the living room and sat on the love seat. He occupied the sofa across from me. I stared down at my hands, unsure of how to continue. _How do I start? Do I just blurt out that I was pregnant with his child? _

When I got up the courage to look up, I found Edward studying me intensely. If I were human I would have been blushing.

"Being a vampire suits you." He stated. It was more to himself than to me.

"Thank you." _Wow Bella, great response. _

I took up studying my hands once more. "Edward, there's something I need to tell you." There was no way to keep the guiltiness out of my voice. "The day you l-left," I tried to keep the pain out of my voice. There was no reason for him to have to deal with my lasting love when he had clearly moved on, "there was something I needed to tell you. I never got the chance before."

"Okay. What is it? It can't be_ that_ bad."

I chanced a glance up. He looked so understanding and….. I had to look back down, the guilt tearing at the very core of my heart.

"I was pregnant. And the child was yours." I whispered, barely loud enough for my acute hearing to pick it up.

He said nothing. He didn't move. If you hadn't known any better you would have thought he was a statue. Then suddenly he jolted into action and I dared to look his way. Straightening himself out, he leered down at me. "No you weren't. Even if you were, there is no way it could have been my child. Don't try to fool me!"

I took my time standing also, doing my best to hold onto any thread of self-control I possessed. "I was human, Edward. It was very much possible. Believe me, I have done my research. There are myths of half vampire children. We, we did_ it_ that one time. We weren't careful." I trailed off at the end.

His hands were in his hair with a death-like grip. Before I realized what I was doing I went over to him and reached up to gently remove his hands. The touch between us was like electricity, wild and intense. I gasped and backed away, holding my hand to my chest.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking." I said in a small voice. My bravado was completely gone now and replaced with the vulnerable, broken me. The real me. I had no armor to protect me from the harsh words I expected him to dump upon me at any moment.

"Where is the child?" I was surprised though when instead of anger in the velvet of his voice, I heard gentleness. Gentleness I hadn't heard in over a decade. I felt a tiny part of me heal, just from hearing the old Edward. The Edward that loved me and I loved back with all my being. It comfort faded though at the realization that the hard part was now. To tell him Renesmee, _our _innocent child, never got the chance to take her first breath because of _me_.

"We buried her in Charlie's backyard. She was killed eight months into the pregnancy." My voice broke at the end, the pain still raw. "I'm sorry, so sorry. I didn't mean to put her in danger. I promise I didn't. Please forgive me." I begged.

I looked up. Sadness was etched in his god-like features and it killed me to know I put it there. Guilt-fresh and icy flooded though my veins. I flinched. It didn't go unnoticed by him either, but he did nothing. Just stared. It was unnerving.

"Tell me what happened." Cold and detached his voice was, as though he wanted to be anywhere else.

I took a ragged breath and began, "I found out a few days after my eighteenth birthday. I was going to tell you. I promise, but you never gave me the chance."

Rage steeled his voice, "You had plenty of chances. We were always together." At the last sentence he squeezed his eyes shut, as if trying to get rid of a memory.

_The last days before you vanished we weren't. _

His certainty angered me and gave me bravery…almost clicked another part of my being into defense mode long enough to say, "The days before you left we weren't. Don't even try to blame me for that. I have no guilt for not telling you. _You never gave me a chance._ I was going to tell you the day in the woods, but _you never gave me the chance_. You _promised _I would never see you again. What was I supposed to do?"

He was quiet.

"Did you know I ran after you?" My bravery was gone with the last breath I had taken, and I had no strength to push the pain down. It was plain in my voice. "For hours I ran through the woods calling your name, begging you to come back to me. I still have nightmares. Even as a vampire."

He was staring at me, no longer angry but guilty. I was beginning to believe we were bipolar because of our mood swings. I didn't want him to be guilty though.

"Don't feel guilty on my account. It wasn't your fault I never let you go."

"I had no idea." His eyes were haunted, sorry. I had to look away. I focused on the pictures on the mantle.

"Victoria came back when I was eight months pregnant. I was so stupid." Now I was the one who was sorry. "I was scared and didn't know what to do. I should have been more careful. I should have been looking out for her. That's what mothers do right?" I laughed, dry and humorless. "I was no mother. I put her in danger. I was stupid enough that I let Victoria notice I was pregnant. Her version of revenge was changing me and…" I could feel my control slipping away, like fine sand through my fingers. "and she killed her, Renesmee."

I was shaking. I couldn't help it. I wrapped my arms around myself and bit back the sobs that wanted so badly to escape. He wouldn't appreciate my pity party.

Silence. He continued to say nothing for several minutes, soaking it all in.

I couldn't take it any longer. The silence was agonizing. I looked up and found him staring at a spot on the wall behind me. "Please, say something. I know you hate me. Just please say something. It's not as bad as the silence." My voice trembled and broke.

His gaze dropped to meet mine and I was locked in place, staring into his eyes. His topaz eyes were swimming in quiet grief. Grief I caused, but there was something else there, something shining through the _darkness_. "I don't hate you."

I was confused. I had just told him I had robbed his child of ever getting the chance to live. He was supposed to hate me, wasn't he?

"I-I don't understand."

_"I said_, I don't hate you. I'm floored that I could even do something that amazing, to give someone life. You say you killed our-our child, you say you could have kept your pregnancy better hidden from Victoria. She would have noticed either way, I'm sure by 8 months it was noticeable. You would never put our daughter in danger. You would give your life for anyone." He shook his head in disbelief. "I never understood how you could be so willing to give up your happiness, even your _life_ for someone else so freely. It was one of the things I loved about you."

I knew my mouth was hanging open, but that was the last thing on my mind. _It was one of the things he loved about me. _I wasn't prepared for this. I had anticipated hateful words. I was desperate to change the subject.

"Do you want to see a picture?"

He smiled. He smiled that mind blowing crooked smile and the room lit up. "Very much."

"Come with me."

I possessed one picture of Renesmee. I had sketched it a few nights after her burial, wanting to have a physical reminder, not just a picture in my mind. I made her look happy in the picture, and I gave her green eyes, what I imagined Edward's eyes looked like when he was human. It was my most valuable possession. I kept it in the music room on my desk. The desk was across the room from the piano and facing the floor to ceiling windows. As we stepped in the room I saw the song I had just written out in the open on my desk. I ran over in vampire speed and shoved it in a drawer just as Edward reached my side.

He was staring at the picture. His eyes filled with tears that could never be shed. He was hurting, it was quite obvious. I turned to leave so he could have some space when I felt his gentle grip on my arm.

The anguish in his eyes was heart breaking and he managed to rasp out, "Please stay."

**A/N: Hi everyone! Sorry for the delay, but I decided to take a little break over the holidays. I hope everyone had a good holiday, Christmas, Hanukkah, New Years, etc. :) Please tell me what you think of this chapter. Thank you so much everyone who has reviewed it means a lot! and please continue reviewing :D **

**I'm posting this on my way out the door to Allstate tryouts so wish me luck :)**


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